Wednesday, June 30, 2021

Interview questions

The woman had a lot of interview questions for me when we met—simple questions, like "do you like ear rubs?" and "do you permit yourself to be moved hither and thither in a horse trailer?", but also complex questions like, "do you move with eager curiosity into deep dark forests and around mysterious bends?" and, "will you mind if I sometimes forget myself and call you Gussykins?" 

I assured her that yes, I do indeed move with eager curiosity! I do indeed permit myself to be moved in horse trailers, and I do indeed like ear rubs rather a lot. I do even permit myself to be called Gussykins, or Snuffy, or even Boopsnoot. 

Today, we went out on our first ever hike on the trails behind this boarding stable. The trails were very enticing, promising all manner of adventures. We are not yet going riding together, as the woman is of the opinion that I need my feet trimmed and my general wellbeing assessed before attempting athletic feats. I have a funny habit of stretching my left hind leg from time to time, and also a funny feeling in my mouth that she says is caused by "hooks," and will be better on Monday. I feel for the fish!

I'm glad she didn't ask me to explain the difference between dialectical and historical materialism during the interview, or to tell her my typing speed. Let me tell you—it is S.L.O.W. Much better now that I have her transcription assistance. 

In memory of the late Fenway, I wish this for you: my your hay be sweet and abundant. May your trails be smooth and scenic. May your friends be as nice as me, and as Fenway Bartholomule. 

"Ears to you," as the old man would say! 


P.S. I offered to pose next to several beautiful varieties of poisonous flowers, but she told me we did not yet have that level of trust in our relationship. Instead, she let me pose next to these delicious grasses. 


Thanks in Advance for Your Mulish Opinion!