A meal time revision suggested in iambic pentameter

I've tried suggesting the addition of brunch, lunch, tea, and dessert to my menu before. I've tried it by braying, and I've tried it by whining piteously, and I've tried it through silent pleading with these big brown eyes of mine. I'm going to try once again, and I hope FarmWife listens:

Woe, eight and eight are boring times to eat.
Why not add meals at two and six and three?
Why not add meals at one and four and five?
Why not a dozen meals to fill the time?
FarmWife, thou sayest I am rather plump.
Thou sayest two scant flakes shall fill me up.
Would thou not part with something sweet and light?
A sugar cookie, or Turkish delight?
Perhaps a veggie platter would suffice?
Some nori rolls (no fish) with sticky rice?
Thou sayest that my diet is quite rich:
That water, salt, and hay will feed my flesh.
Thou sayest that my mini-mule would pop
If ever she and I were fed non-stop.
I say, "pish posh! Why live, if not to eat?"
I say, "please lay a feast here at my feet."
Thou sayest, "thou art well, though rather plump."
I say, "I'd rather grow than shrivel up."
Thou sayest, "watch thy hock and spare it pain!"
I say, "What hock? It's fine. Gimme that grain."