Tuesday, November 29, 2011


Art by Sue Kroll
FarmWife wants to get some sort of extra-squishy mattress thingy for her Paisley dog. She says it's because he's getting old, and that old people need comfort.

I point out that I am 17 and he his 9, which makes me not-quite-but-almost twice as deserving of an old-people mattress as him!

She points out that I am vigorous and spry.

I point out that I am big, and that bigness makes people get pressure sores sometimes.

She points out that I stand for 23 out of every 24 hours, and that she has never seen a mule with skin as healthy as my skin, and that I have built-in extra-squishy mattress thingies all over my body in the form of fat deposits. (Yes, I'm still on a diet, and yes, I'm still more voluptuous than slim.)

I point out that even cows get mattresses: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HU8_A_EIwAs.

She points out that most of those cows would happily trade their mattress for my freedom: http://www.braysofourlives.com/2011/06/whee.html.

We've compromised: she's got a line on a truckload of shredded bark for my shed. She promises I'll like it.

Sweet dreams!


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