I've had trouble finding the right blanket for my unique physique, so I've prepared a little slideshow to help you understand the various ways in which my wardrobe is unflattering. I've used human models, the better for to relate to you, my beloved bipedal readers.
![](//1.bp.blogspot.com/-skiwfIsyPnY/TtGO72On00I/AAAAAAAADPs/qtE9mYhNtkk/s320/kilt.jpg) |
The way I look in my too-dangly plaid blanket. |
![](//2.bp.blogspot.com/-ZjO78kkdMpM/TtGO6rJgySI/AAAAAAAADPc/-DQtURR9Ikc/s320/turtle.jpg) |
The way I look in my too-short high-neck blanket. |
![](//1.bp.blogspot.com/-ytqd8UlnwdU/TtGO65Jwn5I/AAAAAAAADPk/fnHzXGgd1vs/s1600/fatguyinspandex-1-01.jpg) |
The way I look in my too-tight blue blanket. |
Tomorrow, I'll try to find you some pictures of what I'd rather look like. I just have to negotiate with FarmWife about which human man is cute enough to stand in as me, Fenway Bartholomule.
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Thanks in Advance for Your Mulish Opinion!