Friday, July 29, 2011

Minister of Disengagement from Threatening Articles

I suggest that Bif meet Sheaffer, if he already hasn't. Bif, if you don't remember, is a pleasantly plump mustang from Ohio who blogs at and Sheaffer is a sophisticated donkey gourmand who blogs at They are both absolutely faboo.

Bif's mother recently wrote of his coat incident, described thusly: "Bif grasps the coat in his teeth and starts to back up. I give the infamous ANN-ANNT sound to indicate, NO! Bif, now alarmed that he is being followed by the coat and in trouble with Mother, attempts to flee the area, swinging away into Belle. Coat still attached. Belle squeals, turns, and flees the run-in. Bif scoots to the far corner, frantic that the coat continues to follow him. He starts cutting back and forth, spinning, attempting to evade the assailant that constantly dances in front of him and occasionally slaps his legs and chest . . . I'm ashamed now to admit I stood, cartoonish, hand extended and laughing Ha-HA. Torn by my desire to go and offer assistance, knowing I would more likely be trampled in the endeavor; by my shame at laughing at my poor, bewildered beast; and by outright humor at the fact that my horse is too stupid to just open his mouth and let the coat go."

Sheaffer recently wrote about his paddock mate finding himself in a similar pickle: "Chester is progressing with his lessons but continues to exhibit a streak of youthful exuberance that is sometimes alarming. This morning he grabbed the hose out of our water trough as it was filling and nearly drowned himself before realizing he needed to drop the thing for the drowning to cease. He ran off to the corner, snorting, dripping and looking puzzled and hurt. Then he approached the trough from another direction and tried to drink with his lips extended as far as possible. Herself says he may need something called a straw with a bend in it. Pshaw. What nonsense. Let the boy sink or swim, I say."

I think Sheaffer should be appointed Minister of Disengagement from Threatening Articles and charged with reforming equines who are ignorant of this important process. Does anyone second that motion? 



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