Grow a pair

You may recall my having been frightened by a sheep a few weeks back. It demonstrated a terrible lack of courage, and I stand humbled before you in apology for my gutless response to an unfamiliar ungulate.

Luckily, some wonderful ladies from Wyoming have the answer—the ewes of Wind River Woolen, seeing that I could not grow them myself, grew and mailed this lovely pair of fleecy, felted balls!

They report that they learned of these things from Grandpa Rambo, who assures them that such charms aid in the development of ATTITUDE and INVINCIBILITY. "Lost is now returned to ewe," they write, and "wear the pair, plus the spare, around the neck . . . and the bell, perhaps, to change the tune for spring."

I've donned these marvels briefly for today's photo shoot, but you'll surely see them upon my breastplate in future as a standard wardrobe component. FarmWife thinks they'll come in handy.

Ears to you, and may you too regain lost treasures this week!

Fenway Bartholomule

A spare (it's white) and a bell to change the tune for spring!

My bell, and balls worn jauntily upon the ear.

 The pair about my neck—I'm told they can be worn this way or in the nether region, though I think I'll wear mine affixed to my breastplate in future.

p.s. I don't actually live amongst all of this playground equipment—that would be untidy and less than safe. I am, however, permitted to mow around the swings and sandbox on sunny afternoons. Just call me Fenway Bartholomule, Landscape Contractor.