A Cautionary Tale

Once upon a time, in a kingdom far, far away, there was a shiny, beautiful little girl named Princess Clover. She was fresh and clean, and passed her days frolicking in the capacious meadows of Bent Barrowland or curled in the warm upholstery of the throne that belonged to her father, King Matthew. One sunny, cold morning, she ventured too close to the Royal Coop and decided to roll in chicken poop. Sir Fenway Bartholomule, the Royal Mule, saw her and tried to warn her, but he was too late. She coated herself in a layer of filth while he turned his chiseled profile away and wept.

When Princess Clover's offense was discovered, the Queen of Bent Barrowland cast her youngest daughter into the dungeon and condemned her to ten minutes of being scrubbed in a sink full of warm water. The princess trembled at the prospect, but Queen Marnie showed no mercy. Princess Clover was tortured to within an inch of her life, and emerged a trembling shell of what she once was. Only the kindness of  her sister, Princess Robin, could comfort her. Princess Robin scrubbed Clover with the Royal Towel until she was shiny and dry again, and Princess Clover vowed to never again roll in anything filthy or disgusting. The Royal Mule said, "I told you so," and Clover said, "just you wait until July, Mr. 'I'm too big to fit in the house so I'm going to get washed with the hose!.'" Princess Clover then retired to the castle's great hall, where she curled by the crackling fire. The mule was given a tremendous flake of Royal Hay as thanks for his attempt to avert disaster, and they all lived happily ever after.

The End