Monday, August 9, 2010

I Missed My Calling

It turns out that FarmWife and I just missed the perfect opportunity for our showring debut. Here, via Fugly Horse of the Day, is the annual SAFE show program.  We missed it by a couple of days, and I haven't read the fine print on alternative equidae, but it would have been fun.

Look at that class list. Look closely. There it is, second column: "Bribe Your Horse."

Full disclosure: I'm not a horse. Otherwise, I'm perfect for this!

When FarmWife calls, I come running. When FarmWife jogs, I go jogging. When FarmWife runs away from me as fast as her scrawny legs will carry her, I surge and plunge beside her like The Black with his Alec. When she stops, I stop on a dime and snort regally in her general direction. When she wheels about, I wheel with her and take off in a new direction. When she sits, I cock a leg and rest beside her.

I do this because she is my friend, and my playmate, and my Lead Mare, but also because I occasionally meet with a delicious morsel at the end of such a romp. At the very least, I am guaranteed—by galloping with her to the end of the pasture and back— a thorough ear rub. If that's not bribery, I don't know what is!

In other news, I've got a very clear concept for my screenplay ("Brays Of Our Lives: Against the Tide.") I'll give you my casting proposals tomorrow, but in the meantime I'll just tell you that it is going to be FANTASTIC. Sort of a "Benji" meets "The Pelican Brief," with intrigue, deception, and a criminal coverup that only Fenway can blow open. Wait for it!

In the meantime—EARS TO YOU!



  1. Romeo would have rocked that class, too... he would always come when called, follow me around (even over jumps)... he might have been fun to trick train!


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