Thursday, August 19, 2010

FarmWife's questionable talent

On a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being "among the most beautiful things on earth" and 1 being "pretty darn beautiful," how lovely am I? I confess—I am pretty darn skilled at looking good. 
We all have something we're great at . . . some of us paint stunning images, some of us recite pi to 100 digits, some count cards, and some masticate hay with perfect precision. FarmWife? She bakes good cakes, she's a whiz with ID'ing dog breeds, and she can improvise song lyrics on the spot. 

FarmWife gave some thought to a mulish rendition of "That's Amore," as requested by fan Ludovica, but I wasn't happy with her rehearsed lyrics. Not only was the tempo all wrong—too slow, and I am NOT about to stride goofily along like a mall-walker just to suit her playlist—but the lyrics lacked originality. Thinking to shake things up a bit, I took advantage of her distraction (singing, riding, and operating a video camera) and turned for home. My clever ploy worked! Losing her focus and her boring, dry train of thought, she launched into a new and more interesting set of lyrics—made up on the fly, and sung from the heart. I love her for it.

Later in our ride, I made her sing something entirely new and different. I gave her this assignment—"Sing something," I told her, "about me being famous." And so she did, as you will see. Again, give her credit—she's singing, she's videorecording, she's riding a mule, and she's making this up as she goes. It is a useful skill, and though her voice could be a little more powerful and the tempo a bit more upbeat (again, I walk how I walk and there ain't nothing that's going to change that) I think you'll agree that she rhymes well.

This is a helpful parenting tactic, too, and she makes use of her insta-rhymes every night at bedtime. It takes a special talent to take such diverse instructions as "sing something about a lake of fruit punch and an adorable puppy on a skateboard with macaroni and cheese and a forest of vines" and produce from them a coherent song in a conventional meter.

Now, it's true that I did call this a questionable talent. Singing these songs, after all, is fun. I like to hear her do it. Putting them on the world-wide web for all too see? This, I'm afraid, may raise some doubts. Doubts as to her sanity, her maturity, her self-respect.

To this, I tell you—I made her do it. It was me, Fenway Bartholomule.

Ears to you!



  1. I just love watching your ears, Fenway :-) And you don't like the lines on the road? Neither does my grandhorse, Twist. He once walked home sideways, front feet on one side of the line at the edge of the road and back feet on the other. I thought he was just hilarious but his mom had been very embarrassed.

  2. Fenway, I, Blue Page, was hooked with your first video duo with Farmwife. She is a rhyming savant and, like you, I also love her for it!

  3. Fen, I give you a "10" and wish you great health and soundness as you go back to work!

    Your friend,

  4. These are my favvvvvorite. I love love love hearing Mar...Errrr, farmwife, making up songs while your ears dance along.


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