Ten More Commandments

We all know—don't we?—that "thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's ass" is flawed advice, at the very least. After all, look where a little bit of ass-coveting got FarmWife! Now, I don't want to ruffle any feathers but between the COTHers with their version and Captain Mosey with his eight "I'd really rather you didn'ts," I think it's fair for me to make a little list of my own.

ONE: Thou shalt feed no other pets before thy Mule.

TWO: Thou shalt make for thyself frequent tack purchases.

THREE: Thou shalt take the bray of thy Mule seriously.

FOUR: Thou shalt remember thy Mule in all moments.

FIVE: Thou shalt honor the father, Jack and the mother, Mare.

SIX: Thou shalt move manure.

SEVEN: Thou shalt not commit thy Mule to any unpleasant task.

EIGHT: Thou shalt place frequent kisses upon His glorious ears.

NINE: Thou shalt spread the news of the Muleness among thy neighbors.

TEN: If thee be without a Mule, thou shalt covet thy neighbor's Mule.