Friday, May 21, 2010


"Dr.— is a very nice man," she says. "You'll like him," she says. "He's going to help you."

Dr.— stabbed me. He drugged me. He washed my mouth out with soap. He stuck things up my butt, messed about with my willy, and called me fat. 

For all the the respect and love that I have for FarmWife, I must say this: She is a TERRIBLE judge of character.

Your groggy friend,


  1. I do not think that you are fat, dear Fenway, and we did try to tell you that Farmwife messing with your willy would be easier and better for you. But, what did the "good" doctor say about your hock? (and, i use the word good in jest). And, why did he wash your mouth out with soap? I hope that you are feeling better soon dear Fenway! Carrots, and Brays from the East coast!

  2. he said you were fat?!!! i don't think you're fat. nope..not. at. all. i think you look beautiful! what's the scoop on your leg?

  3. Fenway, I think you are pleasingly plump. I don't like to see anyone or anything's ribs.

  4. Fen I think you look "comfortable"

    as in

    I love sitting on this sofa, it is so comfortable

  5. Ah dear Fenway, this happens to all well-kept equines. Shows how much we love them.
    PS: I just think you are "fluffy". lol

  6. Oh Fenway, be thankful you are not a human mare. We have to put our feet in evil stirrups that have nothing to do with equine-related tack, and subject our teats to a squeeze-machine.
    So when you are forced to undergo similar indignities, consider it a favor to your family members who care about your health. And definitely whine for extra carrots (you surely deserve them!) when the indignities are all over.
    Still, the "Fat" comment was totally NOT right -you are appropriately glossy and beautiful - please continue to carry a grudge about that!

  7. Hay Fenway - wow you had a really bad day didn't you? Today I got the spa treatment. I got a nice bath, my sheath cleaned and my hoofies done - I feel like a new horse - and I'm sure you are feeling much better now that your Willy is all clean!

    Your Fren,

  8. Fenway,
    You are a trouper, but you would have been better off letting FarmWife mess with your privates!
    How is your hock?
    Better wake up from your grogginess soon, as I am getting "knighted" and I want you to attend the ceremony.

  9. I hate to admit any correlation, but I peed with new and tremendous freedom this morning. It was like standing in a waterfall of rainbows.

    My mouth got washed as part of a humiliating dental exam during which they determined that I am as old as a I say I am and that I am chewing as well as I am digesting—that is, with great efficiency. No wonder I am elephantine in my sleek loveliness. I was not "floated," whatever that means, but from the looks of the torture devices on hand I think it was a lucky and narrow escape.

    My hock—the vet was worried about the size and hardness of my thoroughpin. He says that 5 days of 1:1 DMSO and Nitrofurazone applied topically, and an additional two weeks rest, should get us started. FarmWife is to recommence riding in any case two weeks from today, provided I remain sound. We'll see if that makes it better or worse.

    Your recovering friend,

  10. Fen,
    Check out your FB page to see the position to assume for sheath cleaning!

  11. Dunewood,
    I saw and I blanched in horror at your proposal. Tell your cat that s/he is a hussy and a wench.


  12. Fen,
    He actually has alot of fun and never has to be sedated!

  13. ....and his sheath is never dirty!


Thanks in Advance for Your Mulish Opinion!